Woke up this morning, got myself a gun, like Tony Soprano … no, I didn’t, but I sure felt like I could use one …
Cranky, with a grrr in my head, and I’m sure in my voice.
Maybe I should lay off those Scandi-noir crime thrillers for a while …
Those twisted twilight tales of death in the frozen wastelands, where everyone is moody, troubled and perfectly lit. Even the kids.
Outside or in, the light glowers low and disquieting, just like the music, as if presaging the muffled mayhem to come — and it’s all filmed so sensuously as a snowy blanket is lifted on a seething underworld of vengeful murder, intrigue and steaming coffee.
Got myself a hedge-clippers, a couple of green bin plastic sacks, excited by thoughts of a little muffled mayhem of my own …
It’s snowing and snowing, and folks are soon falling as freely as the flakes, iced, mutilated, tortured — sometimes all three.
The chasing cops are nearly as troubled as their adversaries. But they sure look good in that wonderfully spooky half-light. Even in dangly jumpers and naff anoraks.
But tell me this, do all tormented but intuitively brilliant Scandinavian detectives have great hair, even after being hauled out of the Baltic after another near brush with death?
Or is that just in Deadwind? … check it out on Netflix …
A grrr in my mood, anyway, as I tangled with my wife in the kitchen over something stupid … and was still residually hostile when I ignored her half-conciliatory text a few hours later …
Thing is, though, this unfocused anger got me up and gunning, so to speak.
There I was, simmering with my breakfast coffee on the little blue bench on the patio outside the kitchen, and my eyes beaded on that ginormous wayward hedgerow that is our so-called herb garden.
Been looking at it for months, this unruly mound of sage, bay leaves and that lemon-scented stuff that smells heavenly but we never use … and I have hatched great plans to sell bags of it all to local restaurants and hotels, and haven’t, of course.
And have thought often ofu hacking it back at least, so we can actually see from this bench those lovely fuchsia pots and the rest on the little table behind it on the decking.
Months it’s been waving at me, eye-balling me … sneering moodily and magnificently at me … and suddenly, cranky old me lurches up to take a stand, snaps down his coffee cup on the cute green patio table, and heads for the Bada Bing! … nah, work shed.
Got myself a hedge-clippers, a couple of green bin plastic sacks, excited by thoughts of a little muffled mayhem of my own …
Skin and bay leaves are soon flying and fistfuls of dill stuffed into the two huge, soon bulging sacks … a quick sweep up and it’s hello fuchsia, greetings cheery cornflower, and how you down’, perky pink petunia?
I’m the George Bailey of Golden Ridge!
Well, better than the Stockholm Slayer, or some such …
Of course, I’m wrecked and sweating after this 20-minute Enda Scissorhands hack attack, and plonk down on the blue bench to take it all in.
Another slash offensive — brief this time, editing and refining the work done in the cruder first assault — and I’m finally satisfied, and can lay down my hedge-clippers …
So I’m thinking now about anger and energy, and the difference between unfocused, aimless rage and the kind of proactive vexation and irritation that piques you up and gets you actually doing things.
For every bastard who skips the queue, or parks in the disabled spot, there are a dozen who will smile at you in the supermarket, or hold the door as you blunder on through
When you get a bit older that energy is necessarily finite, but no less vigorous— or precious — for being shorter-lived.
And I’m thinking of how wonderful it is find proper outlets for this energy, this anger …
And how destructive it is when not used positively …
Anger and contentment, trust and mistrust, love and hate … the duality of life is hardly a mystery … and it’s fine when things sort of balance out.
For every bastard who skips the queue, or parks in the disabled spot, there are a dozen who will smile at you in the supermarket, or hold the door as you blunder on through.
You try not to let the bastards get you down as you search for your sweet spot or happy place.
Make the best of things
But I can’t help feelings things are spiralling a bit lately, and the negatives have gotten the upper-hand. Have put that grrr in my head.
Is it the Covid, maybe?
Been going on so long, and still no nearer a resolution.
Hard to know what to do … stick at home safely, or twist that next card and head out to that house party? …
Working at home is fine and all, but sometimes I even miss the assholes in the office …
Making me moody and troubled, if not perfectly lit …
Maybe that’s what is so attractive about those Scandi-noirs … no matter how bad things get — and they sure get bad — eventually things work out.
I’m sure I read somewhere that this is the ultimate attraction of crime thrillers: we know the cop will eventually catch up on the bad guy, good will trump evil, an we can go back to hacking away at the herb garden.
For a while …
But I’d love to know why do Nordic cops never bother with search warrants, and are always being taken off the case and let back on — without asking?
Oh yeah, and where do they get such great babysitters: over in a jiffy, no need to book, whenever mammy detective has to nip out at bedtime story hour to another grisly murder scene, or follow up one more sudden but brilliant hunch?
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EndaStories 
Enda You need to get out more. I like Netflix as much as the next guy but covid or not there is a world out there. I loved the rant today. I have felt the anger. but i want you to know it is more fun being the smiling bastard holding the door.
Stay well and laugh
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Ohh I sure will … maybe if I stick out a foot when I hold the door, I could really be the smiling bastard?
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Now you’re think like the bastard you were meant to be
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I really hope the local Garda don’t see this, as they may be calling without a warrant if anyone is murdered there: you’d be at the top of their list! If they do, I hope they’ve been taking lessons from Scandi noir and send you an attractive lady cop. Wearing a nice jumper, of course…
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Don’t worry … I’ve hidden the hedge-clippers, Clive … if they come looking for them I’ll ask if they have a search warrant … or nice jumpers!
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Glad to hear it, wouldn’t want you to be blogging from jail. Mind you, if you did go there you could always take up knitting. Those jumpers sell for a small fortune.
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Okay, yes, I’ve often wondered those questions myself about scandi-noir – especially the one about the anoraks and the good hair. And also yes about the judicious redirection of angst – whether it be a hedge, a bowl of dough, or something else. Order out of chaos, even if it is fleeting.
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Hi Jo … yes, brief order out of chaos, I like that!
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I hope you won’t think less of me, but the very scenes you describe in the Scandi-Noir shows are what send me running to the Hallmark Channel! I don’t like nightmares. I think you are right, though about the effects of COVID and the tension, escalation and violence. I think people get worked up, even for a good cause a nd don’t know when to stop and turn it into something constructive and effective. I have a simple, okay, over simplified answer to your last two questions and it is one my husband and I comforted ourselves with when we were raising teenagers. It is in the script. that is how they can get away with it, it is in the script. Best and blessings, Michele
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Hi Michele … I’m not a fan of the macabre bits, per se, I like the chase and all that, the atmosphere, lighting, mood etc, but really, it’s all about the relationships for me! Yes, it’s all in the script!
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I agree about the relationships, what generally draws me to a book, movie or show is if there is good character transformation.
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Great piece, Enda. You need to get cracking writing some Irish noir
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Irish noir, Dave? You only have to look around, it’s writing itself … just wonder where the bodies are buried! Thanks for your kind words
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Wow Enda there was a lot happening in your head with this! Good on you for channelling all that anger into something useful – enjoy the fuscias! I think that the thing with covid is that it’s been going on too long – we’ve done the “we’re all in this together” thing and smiled, put out teddy bears and rainbows, and generally sucked up staying at home all the time, but I think we’re mostly over it all now – and some have a very low self-less limit – so they’re off being tossers and generally making the rest of us want to slap them – roll on a vaccine or maybe we’ll all just have to battle it eventually (hopefully with good hair).
#MLSTL
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Are you worried, Leanne .. think I might do something really crazy!!! Twitch, twitch! I think slashing the herb bed is as bad as it will get, hehe!
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I do enjoy a bit of scandi-noir but now you’ve unleashed questions Enda! Anger is a sign of something…and the hedge clippers….I like Clive’s comment about the jumpers, that made me smile 🙂 #mlstl
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Yeah, Debbie, what is about Nordic detectives and crap jumpers!
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The sad thing is, I really want one of those jumpers now!
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I have never seen Deadwind, maybe I’m missing out. I may give it a try. Its right what you say about anger though…when I was a fit person you could always tell when I was angry about something…my house would be sparkling clean, not a fingerprint, smear or piece of dust to be seen anywhere. It was my way of using that angry energy. You’re right though, for many people this COVID is driving us nuts. For other’s, well, they are just getting on with things like nothing has happened, or it isn’t happening any more.
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It’s pretty good … not up with the top Nordic ones, like The Killing and The Bridge, but not bad at all, And yes, I agree that Covid is slowly driving some of us nuts!!! I don’t know if you read Tracey’s posts about getting Covid, but they are frightening, if brilliantly written. https://hooksanddragon.wordpress.com/2020/08/06/my-covid-19-story/ and https://hooksanddragon.wordpress.com/2020/08/12/my-covid-19-story-part-2/
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It’s definitely getting very frustrating, I agree with you there Enda. Especially now that we are seeing numbers beginning to rise in Ireland again which is definitely affecting my mood a bit. Hacking away at the garden did make me smile as I have watched my husband do an awful lot of that over the summer. As there was nowhere else to go and not much else to do the garden definitely got the brunt of it. It’s in pretty good shape now though and I think all that fresh air did him good!! Fingers crossed the winter won’t be too cruel to us in terms of corona virus. I might check out this tv show too, I love a good detective series! #globalblogging
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Hi Tracey … yes the garden did get it!!! Just liker your hubby. In fairness, we have never used our garden so much as this past few months, and it has been brilliant. And, yes, I reckon myself and my wife would be lost without Netflix … and lashings of wine!!
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I have never tried the Scandi genre! Still plenty of time before lockdown ends methinks… Thanks for linking up with #globalblogging
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There’s loads of stuff on Netflix, Laura, but the classic of recent times is The Killing, and The Bridge is great too
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such a great post. Loved every word. I think what you watch affects your mood. Definitely. I think we’re all a bit cranky from being cooped up and isolated. Ive started taking staycations, traveling within a few hours from home, and that’s helped a lot.
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Hi Amy, it definitely helps to break up the monotony by getting away, if only for a while. Thanks for commenting
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You speak for most of us I feel, Enda – this nonsense has gone on long enough now. I regularly vent my anger on the brambles in the garden, or on the floor with the mop and broom – better there than on the family or strangers in the supermarket. We are currently enjoying the escapism of Sherlock on Netflix, makes real life feel quite tame! #kcacols
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Hi Liberty … yeah, it’s a good job the brambles are there to vent on … I even spent two hours on Saturday chucking rocks as part of an estate clean-up … that’s been a positive, people planting and cleaning things up. Mind you, it’s always the same small cadre. But still … And yes, one more time, thank heavens for Netflix!
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I’m opting for the hide at home and pretend the twats don’t exist option still. There are enough of them online to stop me from ever coming near missing the ones in the real world! I’m even having to avoid a few friends for the time being to stay avoid having a major downer. Life will get back to normal eventually, for now I’m keeping the blinkers on!
Oh, how do you get your herbs to grow so well? Ours always die… #WotW
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Oh they are out there, and not just n the net, Emma! It has been frustrating lately, but what can we do? Keep going, is all! And success of our herb garden is entirely down to them. I don;’t help at all, just hack back every now and again!
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I literally laughed out loud at your working from home line! I also miss the assholes in the office (LOLS) #KCACOLS
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Mad isn’t it, Rosie? Never thought I’d be saying that!
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I have to admit I’ve never watched any Scandinavian crime dramas so can’t relate to that part, but I can definitely relate to using anger to get productive out in the garden – and hacking at hedges and bushes and overgrown herb gardens is so very satisfying at times like that! It is hard with the covid situation dragging on so long and no end yet in sight and I can understand that grr in your head being there. Hope it helped to write it out too. #WotW
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It did, Louise … but yes, it really is weighing on people now. Good to get some of the angst out, in a productive way!!!
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I quite like Scandi-noir, I shall add this to my Netflix ‘to watch’ list that i’m making in preparation for the inevitable local lock down that is looming.
Katrina x
#KCACOLS
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Netflix has a load of these things …
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I think COIVD has given us all an undercurrent of anxiety, barely noticable most of the time but will appear out of nowhere as irrational anger or sadness at something that normally would barely even phase us. Up the exercise, sit with the emotions and let them pass on. That’s all I can say. Can’t say there’s much on Netflix for me at the moment – but loved The Morning Show (Morning Wars here) and War of the Worlds (the one with Gabriel Byrne – tho I suspect it’s about to get super stupid). #KCACOLS
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I have never seen Deadwind, maybe I’m missing out so I’m going to add that one to my list. I know I have been pretty moody being cooped up inside. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time
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Yeah, it hasn’t been easy for us all, cooped up and curtailed, Kelly-Anne, so we have to make an effort, I suppose, to get out as much as we can and be positive. Thank you for your comment
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